TODAY HAS BEEN AN AWFUL DAY THE RAIN HAS BEEN POURING DOWN, IT IS A BIT LIKE MY MOOD, SAD. THE TIME HAS GONE SO QUICK, 17 YEARS JUST GONE IN A FLASH. I KEEP THINKING IF ONLY ALL THE TIME. IF ONLY THE CANCER HAD BEEN FOUND EARLIER JESS WOULD HAVE STOOD MORE OF A CHANCE IN IT NOT RETURNING, IF I COULD GO BACK 4 YEARS THEN MAYBE JESS WOULD STILL BE HERE. BUT YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST OR GO BACK. I KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WITH SAME AS JESS, FIBROLOMELLAR HEPATOCELLULAR CARCINOMA THATS THE NAME OF THE DISEASE THAT JESS HAD. IT IS VERY RARE ONLY 200 PEOPLE A YEAR GET THIS CANCER AND THESE PEOPLE ARE USUALLY BETWEEN THE AGES OF 14-24, THERE IS NO KNOWN CAUSE FOR THIS DISEASE. TREATMENT IS MAINLY SURGERY AS THIS TUMOUR IS NOT CHEMO SENSITIVE, ALTHOUGH JESS WAS GIVEN CHEMO BUT THIS DID NOT WORK. MORE RESEARCH NEEDS TO BE DONE TO HELP THE OTHERS WITH THIS TYPE OF CANCER, I KNOW THAT JESS WANTED TO DO THIS WHEN SHE WAS CURED, SO THIS WILL BE A FOCUS IN THE FUTURE FOR ME AS I DO NOT WANT JESS TO HAVE DIED IN VAIN. SOMETHING THAT GIVES OTHERS HOPE HAS TO COME OUT OF MY LOSS, IT IS THE ONLY WAY I THINK I WILL COPE WITH THE FUTURE.